Kayleigh's Journal

10:54am: "Kayleigh is the new black..."
I am at my dad's now and I feel like crap
ugh...
I am home alone for now until the girls get home from school.

I think I will roll outta this chair
go watch a movie
then take a shower
then go rent a movie

nice day plan

11:57pm: frustration!!
Damnit!!
I am leaving for my dad's tomorrow and my IPod isn't working and not letting me download songs!
gah! Why?!
[defeat]

So Friday was my last day of school and we dont go back until Jan. 2nd.
Then finals! right on

So ya I am leaving for my dad's tomorrow and getting back on the 27th
that should be fun


For the past few days I have been having a huge need/craving for Jacob. I dont know why. I just want him here with me...I want him to hold me...sigh
all-in-all I need him

10:49am: Holy Sheets
Holy crap
I havent been on here in forever!
Alot has happend and changed since I lost wrote.

Here is a little list of the big things:
Jacob and I broke up
Im a Junior
I drive and own a car
I got a lead in the fall play
I have a lead in the musical [we are doing Charlie Brown musical and I am Snoopy] lol



PS: Everybody loves a mouse person

9:27am: Yoda, why you bein' a playa hater
I am so nervous for Finals. I mean I get so worked up over them.

I stress.

I am am bad test taker. I mean I can know everything that I am taking the test over but once the test comes, I am fucked. I dont know what it is.


I know I am going to fail my Biology one.

~

I took the english MAP test yesterday. The 10th grade score is 227 and I got a 245
I am so proud of myself.

11:04am: ha
Mammoth (LAX) won the Championship!

Woot

1st time ever

10:38am: Sad Day!
Senior Celebration
I wanted to cry.
I know there will be more crying on Monday.
Tear

On a side note I am now a Junior. Group hug in the showers tonight!

Brenn doesnt really talk to me anymore.
hmmm

9:33am: Sorry for the long entry...
The Band Banquet

Well...were to begin.

Jacob picked me up [I loved my dress, even though I felt like a Xmas tree. The back was my fav.] and once we got there Jacob's mom took pics, which I want btw.
The food was pretty good. The chicken was huge.
Things start going downhill once the dance starts. Jacob asked what EJ and I did in the bathroom [EJ asked me to come with her earlier], and I said that I had offered to give her a ride cause if I dodnt give her a ride shoe wouldnt have been able to stay for the dance. Then he got all mad and said that he and I never do anything together. EJ is always with us. wtf mate?! Its just a ride home! I was also giving Jacob a ride home to. I am sorry, but I wouldnt classify that as a date or anything. He then continued to get mad at me for not being myself around him. That I am this outgoing person around my friends, but I am this shy, quiet girl around him.
When it comes to guys that I really like, I get real shy around them. I have low self-esteam, when it comes to things like that.
Then he was like, "Well we have been dating for 6 months, why arent you comfortable around me yet?!!" I am sorry, but when you have sucha mental block like that, its hard to break. I am not a very strong woman.
He then didnt dance with me, so I told him w/e and went and danced with my buddies.
When a slow dance started, I was alone cause Jacob was still PMSing over there and didnt even want to talk to me, so other guys asked me to dance.
Damon
Kenny
Challen
Evan
James
These guys are all just my guy friends.

During the last slow dance, I sucked up my nervous-ness and went to ask Jacob to dance with me. He then yelled at me, called my a cheating bitch, and said that you better get out of my face before I do anything. And I replied, what are you going to do? Break up with me? Alot os nasty things were said between us, then I kicked his leg and left.
Near the end of the dance Brennleigh came up to me and told me that Jacob was over there crying.
Damnit
Damnit
Damnit
I cried too
So at the end of the dance, while we were waiting for my dad who took forever to find the place, Jacob and I 'talked' somemore. He then told me that he wanted to break up with me and he never wanted to even see me again.

He eventually called me on Sunday night and we talked until midnight. At fist the conversation was angry, then it became nicer. Near the end he asked me what we wanted to do with our relationship. And I said that I thought we should not get back together, cause I am probably moving this summer to WestMinister and it would be very hard to keep our relationship. It would take two strong people and I dont know if I am strong enough. And I also said the thing that scares me the most is getting that call a few months down the road and him telling me that he found someone else. It was silent for a moment, then he said, "I guess I just want to change your mind."
We decided to sleep on it and decide the next day at school.
To make the already long enough story short, he said he wanted to get back together with me and he apoligized for all the things he said, and that he wanted to try the relationship even if it would be hard
because he loved me enough...
I agreed.

What I find funny though this whole thing, is that I really havent talked to Brennleigh before. We arent really what you call friends. But since thins whole thing, she has been talking to me nonstop. Asking me whats going to happen with our relationship and shit like that. The only reason she cares is cause I have something she wants and if we broke it off she would have a chance. ^(&%#&(*** to that!

I cant wait to see her in 1st.

9:21am: Your mom upside down is wow
So, in the end, I didnt go to the assembly after all. As I was going I got stopped by Bill and Damon, and we went to BugarKing instead. Yumm and after T and O I went with Jacob and his mom to Wing Stop and ate.

Friday was that band thing-mo-jig. During lunch I thought Jacob wasnt gonna be there so I went with Scott, Joe, and some kid named Andrew I think to Scott's bank. They were all smoking in the car. When we got back to school the started pulling out the weed. After a few min of talking to people, I decided that it was time to go, so I went inside to lunch.
Jacob saw me and ran and gave me a hug, then pushed me away and said "you were smoking!" and he didnt talk to me for the rest of the time. Now I didnt smoke at all I swear. I was a little second hand high, but not really. He didnt tell me he believed me until after 5th.

That night was Lauren's party.
I was really excited! I mean, I would be at a party with Jacob! Fun, right? So I got all perdy and went all out and went. Well the party crashed. Through the whole thing Jacob never even said 'hi' to me. Lauren and Jacob dislike each other strongly. They always had snippy things to say to each other. When my dad picked me up at 11pm I was ready to go. I felt like poo in shoe. I also felt really bad for Damon, I mean, here is his good buddy and g/f and they dont even get along.

Jacob and I didnt talk to eachother until we went to lunch together on Sunday to celebrate our 6th month anniversery (wooya! btw...) at TGI Fridays. We talked it out there and now its all good. I won't go on about what we talked about.

Went to his YG after. Fun stuff. Got jellybeans and pizza.



Now I am mad. Mr. Richard got extremely pissed at us today and failed us all! I mean, who fails Choir?! And now how am I supposed to make it to Venus, if I dont pass Woman's Chorus?!! I tried talking to him then, but he said "Dont talk to me right now."
I was outside the classroom with Kristen, Sara, and some other people! I dont know why we are failing!

This is bull

9:46am: Mom, when I grow up, I wanna sell porn!
damn, I have to go to the Remember assembly.

Good: I get out of class
Bad: Its going to be boring and pointless. Do they think that some movie and about of old guys talking will change teenagers minda about drinking and driving. I mean, this is gateway after all.

I have to go cause my teacher is in it and she cant leave some of her students alone.

10:29am: 2nd update
>A - age you got your first kiss: 14 I think

>B - band listening to right now: Sting. I really love his voice

>C - crush: Jaocb...but shhh...and I have others

>D - dad's name: Shane

>E - easiest person(s) to talk to: Jacob, EJ, and Damon

>F - favorite band at the moment: My Chemical Romance

>G - gummy bears or gummy worms: gummy bears haha 69

>H - hometown: Norman, OK

>I - instruments: I dont really play anymore. I quiet the band so I could play with myself

>K - kids: how many I want? at most 4

>L - last person you were pissed off at: Megan

>M - mom's name: Vanessa

>N - nicknames: I dont really have any that stick

>P - phobia[s]: I have thi odd fear of moths. I cant help it! They scare the shit outta me

>Q - favorite quote: I cant name one off the top of my head.

>R - reason to smile: my friends

>S - song you sang last: Some somg from GodSpell in 2nd period

>T - time you woke up today: 6am

>N - nown fact about me: I like icecream

>V - vegetable you hate: Brocolii

>W - worst habit(s): I have a few

>X - x-rays you've had: knee, teeth

>Y - yummy food(s) : icecream and cheeseburgars...and fries

>Z - zodiac sign: geminii

9:26am: "But I miss you more then I did yesterday"
I was at this school nine hours ago (from 7:15am, when I got to the school). Damn hell

~~~~~

I am going to complain alot in this entry, so if you would rather not hear it then....go clean your room or something.

So I went to a baseball game with Jacob and my family on Saturday after rehearsal. My mom and little sisters decided to stay home. First we went to church cause my dad wanted to go to confession, and so Jacob and I watched my three little brothers outside for like an hour.
At the game, during one of Jacob's and mine many conversations, I told him that Megan (EJ's woman) is trying to set me up with Leah (I dont know if you guys know her) even though she knows that I was dating someone else. Jacob got alittle upset about that cause now he thinks that Megan has a problem with him.
On Monday, Jacob asked Megan why she had a problem with him, and she said that she had nothing to do with any of it and that it was all EJ. Now that really pisses me off! Why would you lie like that! EJ had/has nothing to do with it! And, even if you were gonna lie, why would you blame it on your own gf?! And Megan already knows that there is already some tension between Jacob and EJ already, so does she think blaming it on EJ would make it all better?!
And another thing, did she lie cause she didnt want Jacob to be mad at her? Or because he's a scary guy? Now I am sure you guys all agree, he isnt at all scary. He doesnt scare me. lol
*sigh* The things that come out of her mouth.....grrr angry

Let me just throw it out here, so you guys all know, and so it'll make me feel better, I love Jacob
and I dont want to break up with him no matter how many matt walters walk by. I still want him and nobody else. Sorry to go all completely corny and what not, but sometimes that how we feel. I like Leah, I am not going to lie, but I love Jacob more.
*sigh*
Now I need a chocolate or something

~~~~~~~

btw I am so excited! We are singing a Phantom of the Opera melody at the pops concert for Choir! *does ghetto white dance*

We start Thursday

11:11am: eh
And thus begins hell week

9:05am: "I'm gonna wash that man right outta my hair..."
ah! That song is stuck in my head from 2nd hour.
We are singing that song at the next choir concert. Its from 'South Pacific'.

haha today is Time and Opportunity.

So I have been good. Been here, done that. I went to the Beauty and the Beast showing at Rangeview on Friday. It was pretty good. I was jealous though! I really want to do that play! I went with Jacob, Ish, EJ and Megan. After Jacob got out of LAX practice, EJ, Jacob and I went to my house for pizza. After that we went to Rangeview and met up with Megan and Ish. My little sister wanted to come along aswell, so I let her.
I didnt really like Belle's singing voice all that much and the pit sucked, but it was still a good show.

On Sunday, after church, Jacob come over to my house and we rented Batman Begins. The only problem I have with that movie is that Katie Holmes looks 14 years old. It was gross to watch them kiss lol

Hell week is next week for Miracle Worker. All you guys better go! It'll be a good show I think/hope. I am doing Sound Tech for the show cause I didnt try out.


Later Taters~

10:30am: "A pictures worth a thousand words...But not worth the words I need to hear..."
haha

love.the.new.icon

10:59am: School is for Asians
Damn. So Spring Break is over. Back to school
Lets go through the (less exciting than most) list of what I did this fine week.

Friday:
Went to this lake with my old homeschooling group
then got contacts!
I dont remember what else I did...if anything

Saturday:
Went to Best Buy and got Dane Cook CD yesss.....

Sunday:
Youth Group...hung out with Robert and Martin

Monday:
Went to the Cherry Creek mall. I feel so odd in that mall..

Tuesday:
Went to see "Faliure to Launch" with Jacob and his mommy
Dont remember what else

Wedsday:
Got picked up at 8:30am and went to babysit Jacob's lil Cousin. She is so kewt!! I wanted to take her homw with me
...........
Then EJ came over and we hung out all night doing go knows what.

Thursday:
EJ and I went to the mall with Keekee

Friday:
Went to go see "She's the man" with EJ
then did Stations of the cross where I had to read a life story of mine infront of the church. Embarrassing, but I did it

Saturday:
Went to Jacob's LAX game then to Old Chicago

Sunday:
Went to BK
Then to the Mammoth game with Jacob, Damon, and Lauren. It was an awesome game! Had loads of fun! And I also got some DipnDots that I havent had in forevers.....orgasim....
[[I'll tell you after school about "the ride home" EJ]]


So here I am. Back at school. Doing work....as you can tell.

9:44am: Word to your hooker!
I. hate. Mrs. Defazio.

She frustrates me to no end! She wants us all to fail! I know it!
That is all I can say right now cause I am too tired to rant about her, but I am sure I will complain later.
I have to take a quiz and present my comercials today in that class, and I have no idea what the quiz is over. I am going to fail this class *cry*

Last day until Spring Break! Woot woot, couch and chinese food here I come.


Going with Jacob for dinner tonight.

splooooch

11:02am: I love smoking pot....AND I LOVE JESUS!!
I went to the mall with my family on Saterday. Jacob decided to join us. Well, how is happened I was talking to him on the phone when I was in the car and i asked him if he wanted to go, kinda as a joke, and he said ok let me go ask. So we went to the Cherry Creek mall. I dont like the feeling of that mall. I feel out of place, you know? Well anyway, first we went to the apple store and that was fun. You could make music on the keyboard and have the comp ply it back. So Jacob played this really bad song and then we blasted it on the speakers. God, it was so fun. lol

Then while my mom and dad took the kids to the lil play area, Jacob and I went off to wander around. We went to Clairs and tried on sunglasses. We also went to Build-A-Bear and pointed out what we liked while Jacob bounced on the springy chair.

We just had an all around good time.


I. Like. Malls.

9:37am: FAX ME
^---the funniest thing I have ever seen on a candy heart.

Wow so today is Valentines Day.
This is one of my favorite holidays. I know it may sound silly, but I cant help it. I just love love. I am just a hopeless romantic like that.
This year would probably have to be my favorite year so far. I cant remember the last time i got a VDay gift that wasnt from my mom, and elementary school doesnt count. Even just getting the lil cards with corny sayings is enough for me. It makes me so very happy to be thought of. I have never gotten so many things.
I know alot of people dont like this holiday because they "dont have a bf/gf to share it with". And i know that is sad, but I try to think of it as a holiday to remember your friends to and to remind them how much you care. And if a chocolate rose or a teddy bear is all it takes to make them happy for a day, then I will always do that.

Today I got the best/sweetest gift I have ever gotten. It was a poem from jacob that he wrote telling me how he felt. It made me the happiest of all. Most people have a hard time expressing the feelings or atleast telling them, and to know that someone went out of his comfort zone to tell me how he really felt made me feel so happy. I cant really describe it..............I know I a nerd ok? gosh... lol :)


Happy Valentines day all. Love you guys!

10:12am: SEX?!?
Ah, I love Biology sometimes...

Anyway, so things are going good (so far) with me and Jacob. So life's all good in that area.

I droped Drawing 2 and replaced it with Theater 1 (5th period). And man, let me tell you is that class odd. I feel like such a dork! lol But its fun though. I mean, yesterday we had to yell at eachother and then we had to talk to walls. And I have alot of my friends in that class, Jacob, Ish, Gabe, Kristin, Cody, Matt....its all good....so far.
It was funny though, we had to get into groups and tons of people wanted me each in their group and then jacob sat down and did his little pout thing, and said "Everybody likes my girlfriend....this sucks!"


So I have finally met Megan, Jacob's ex gf. She seems nice, apart from the fact that she hate Jacob's guts with a firey red passion. I dont know what she thinks of me yet. She talks to me atleast...


Today, after school, I might be going out to lunch with Jacob. My mom actually gave me money to do this! yessss

9:04am: Sensitive Areas!
An hour and a half (plus 15min.) of 4th Web Design..... Oh yay... Look how I type with such excitment...

Ok, so the yesterday thing with Jacob, allow me to explain:

It all started at lunch when it was me, Scott, Hannah, and Jacob were in the lunch line. I was sitting on the pole across from Scott. And for, honest to God, for less then a second, I put each leg on either side of Scott. First of all, before I continue, I would like to clarify that Scott is one of my best friends, and I mess around (ok, maybe not as much) with him like I do EJ or Caitie or Kelena. So then Jacob got really pissed off and would talk to me or hug me. And when I told him that I didnt want to do this again (long story) and then he looked at me and said, "If you dont know whats wrong, then we dont have to talk."
Then, it gets even better, when EJ talked to him during Band, She said, "If you dont talk to her your relationship is going to be bullshit." And he said, "It already is."
Thats what made me the most mad! I mean, I didnt feel that it was, but apparently he did. And once EJ told me this in Biology, it didnt click what he said until much later in the class. I kinda broke down during that time...
What I found odd, was that after school the one who comforted me the most was Jeff Lewis. And not in the, 'here, lets have sex to make you forget about it' kinda way, but the 'talking to me about it' way. (One side thing that I thought was funny is that, him and I were talking about Matt Walter, dont ask, and he didnt know who he was and thought that Matt Walter was codename for him.)
During rehursal I looked over (I was on stage) and Jacob was waiting for me off stage. We didnt get a chace to talk cause by the time we had a break, he had already left and told Cory to tell me to call him once I got home.

I was dreading the call, cause I knew that Jacob was going to break up with me, but I knew I had to do it, so I did.
I will leave out most of the details, but we decided that we are going to "start over" (w/e that means...) and continue our relationship.
One of the reasons we have so many problems is because Jacob is overly jealous. I mean "overly". He gets jealous when I hug Ish, ok? And he told me last night that in the begining of the conversation, he was going to break up with me, but after we talked awhile he relized that if he did break up with me because of his jealousy then he would have to watch it from the side 10x worse and not be with me. He said he wouldnt be able to stand that.

*sigh* I honestly dont get men...

10:30am: Puberty!!
hahas oh the joys of phonebooking....


So here I am, my first time at WebDesign (4th period). Its pretty fun so far. I mean, I am not running for the door crying yet......



~More later though...cause we have to actually 'read' for SSR.

2:12pm: I love my lil short kid!
"There are two kinds of people in this world: Michael Jackson fans and losers."


~Seth Green

11:11am: Your mom IS my collage
Oh it hurts.....my poor owie....I just got back from getting a shot TT.TT I went last and I had to sit on my mom's lap cause I was so nervous. Gosh I am such a whimp when it comes to pain :p u.u *rubs arm*

So after much drama, rumors, and saddness, Jeff and I have decided to just be friends. Its a long and, quite honestly, confusing story, so I will just say this, Jeff and I talked today and decieded. I would be lying if I said I wasnt sad, but I guess when the guy you thought would be an awesome guy turns out to be not what you expected, it can leave you somewhat sad. What might be even worse if that I will always love Jeff. I dont know why, just one part in that back of mind will always. Oh well...I will get over it. Its just abunch of teenage drama after all....

Well I am off to shop for EJ's present. Later Taters

6:34pm: OMFG!
Oh my fucking god! I just got this kick ass phone from my Uncle. I mena this thing is THE shit! It has a camera, video recorder, internet....i mean damn!
IO only get it for a month though cause thats when the service runs out, but I know I will make it last as long as I can!

6:08pm: "I'd rather die then have to see your smile..."

If I were a [feminine] gay man... by 38886
Your name
Your Gay Man Name	Kenny
Your Gay Man Occupation	Personal Assistant
Your Stereotypical Gay Man Trait	Shopping
Your Gay Man Music of Choice	Backstreet Boys
Your Gay Man Cause of Death	Blood Loss (from...you know)
Quiz created with MemeGen!